PainAh the pain.Pain by surfworldMajor
It shoots up my left leg.
I lay there worried.
Then I can't feel anything.
I laugh hysterically.
Because I don't know what else to do.
I love pain.
I tried to move my toes.
I laugh louder.
I don't know what else I can do.
So instead I try to stand.
If I use my right.
I try to put weight on my left.
I can't feel anything.
But the shock through my leg and foot tells me that its still connected.
I try to take a step.
I just start laughing.
Quietly, to myself.
No one else is around to find me.
I start to think back.
To the time I couldn't feel my arm or hand.
How easy it would be to just chop it off.
How easy it would be to bleed out.
And give up.
But I didn't.
Life is precious everyone says.
I'm still waiting to see that.
I try to take another step.
I start to feel my thigh finally.
I stay up on my feet.
But I just laugh harder.
I don't know why I laugh at pain.
Most cry or scream.
But I laugh.
I've never really cr
I'm not youDon't you ever wonder if there's more under that 'I'm fine'?I'm not you by surfworldMajor
Don't you think that maybe behind the glasses and dark blue-grey eyes I'm not really 'fine'?
Maybe there's a deep turmoil.
Maybe you do know.
And choose to ignore it.
Or tell me to stop acting up.
But maybe don't you think I'm not acting, that I'm really hurting inside?
Of course you don't.
You just worry about losing weight,your projects and making me into a perfect girl.
But I'm not.
I wear t-shirts and shorts.
I don't wear dresses or skirts.
I never wAnt to.
I'm not you.
I'm tired or trying to be you,I want to be more like me.
I like being the 'idiot' you say I act like.
That's who I am as a person.
I'm not going to become a princess anytime soon.
Just stop trying to take over my life.
I do what I want, and when you don't agree, I can't do anything but 'act' up.
Doing what I do is what keeps my emotions away.
Showing any of my emotions to you is like trying to commit suicide.
But when I act up that's when I've lost a littl
PatternsSam’s POVPatterns by surfworldMajor
I was tortured for a long time on some vehicle then I ran back to his place for some reason. Once I was inside I fell asleep. They put me on a table and I started freaking out thinking they were going to torture me too. They put me in this blanket thing and I couldn’t move or anything but breathe. When I woke up this girl came to me and stuck more needles in my arms. I tried to fight back but I still couldn’t move. After a really long time they took the blanket off and I tried to get away but I was still tied to the table. Every part of my body was wrapped for some reason. The girl that I met first said
“Sam, you’re okay now, you’re safe.”
“Who’s Sam, I don’t understand?”
“Sam it’s me, Cal, don’t you remember?”
“No I don’t, why am I being held captive here?”
“Sam, almost every bone in your body was broken when you came to us.”
“Don’t call me Sam
PatternsI was sitting in my room just listening to some music and reading when I thought why am I still here. My name is Sam by the way or Samantha or Samson depending on which one I decide on being. But usually just Sam. I have just a few friends but we have almost nothing in common at all. Somehow we get along by just how random we all are. Well anyway I’m at a house well the house for me. It’s not mine nothing is, ever since everyone left. Yeah some died, some just disappeared and I plan on finding them. The problem is I’m constantly being watched. You could say I have some problems but that’s just who I am. Deal with it. Everyone thinks I’m going blind and deaf and that’s why I’m constantly being watched. I absolutely hate it too. That’s why I have double personalities. I have short hair and one green eye and one blue eye. Most stay away from me which is fine with me because I don’t want anyone getting close to me. Every person that I ePatterns by surfworldMajor
|I'm just getting back in drawing and writing. I never really got to completely grow up, I mean I still am it's just my family moved too often. I was born in New Mexico moved to Germany then moved once more to stay until I can leave the lonely state of Wisconsin and travel the world.|