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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist SavannahFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
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Statistics 49 Deviations 139 Comments 1,490 Pageviews

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Ah the pain.
It shoots up my left leg.
I lay there worried.
Then I can't feel anything.
I laugh hysterically.
Because I don't know what else to do.
I love pain.
I tried to move my toes.
But couldn't.
I laugh louder.
More hysterically.
I don't know what else I can do.
So instead I try to stand.
I can.
If I use my right.
I try to put weight on my left.
I can't feel anything.
But the shock through my leg and foot tells me that its still connected.
I try to take a step.
And fall.
I just start laughing.
Quietly, to myself.
No one else is around to find me.
I start to think back.
To the time I couldn't feel my arm or hand.
How easy it would be to just chop it off.
How easy it would be to bleed out.
And give up.
But I didn't.
Life is precious everyone says.
I'm still waiting to see that.
I try to take another step.
I start to feel my thigh finally.
I stay up on my feet.
But I just laugh harder.
I don't know why I laugh at pain.
Most cry or scream.
But I laugh.
I've never really cr
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I'm not you
Don't you ever wonder if there's more under that 'I'm fine'?
Don't you think that maybe behind the glasses and dark blue-grey eyes I'm not really 'fine'?
Maybe there's a deep turmoil.
Maybe you do know.
And choose to ignore it.
Or tell me to stop acting up.
But maybe don't you think I'm not acting, that I'm really hurting inside?
Of course you don't.
You just worry about losing weight,your projects and making me into a perfect girl.
But I'm not.
I wear t-shirts and shorts.
I don't wear dresses or skirts.
I never wAnt to.
I'm not you.
I'm tired or trying to be you,I want to be more like me.
I like being the 'idiot' you say I act like.
That's who I am as a person.
I'm not going to become a princess anytime soon.
Just stop trying to take over my life.
I do what I want, and when you don't agree, I can't do anything but 'act' up.
Doing what I do is what keeps my emotions away.
Showing any of my emotions to you is like trying to commit suicide.
But when I act up that's when I've lost a littl
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Sam’s POV
I was tortured for a long time on some vehicle then I ran back to his place for some reason. Once I was inside I fell asleep. They put me on a table and I started freaking out thinking they were going to torture me too. They put me in this blanket thing and I couldn’t move or anything but breathe. When I woke up this girl came to me and stuck more needles in my arms. I tried to fight back but I still couldn’t move. After a really long time they took the blanket off and I tried to get away but I was still tied to the table. Every part of my body was wrapped for some reason. The girl that I met first said
“Sam, you’re okay now, you’re safe.”
“Who’s Sam, I don’t understand?”
“Sam it’s me, Cal, don’t you remember?”
“No I don’t, why am I being held captive here?”
“Sam, almost every bone in your body was broken when you came to us.”
“Don’t call me Sam
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I was sitting in my room just listening to some music and reading when I thought why am I still here. My name is Sam by the way or Samantha or Samson depending on which one I decide on being. But usually just Sam. I have just a few friends but we have almost nothing in common at all. Somehow we get along by just how random we all are. Well anyway I’m at a house well the house for me. It’s not mine nothing is, ever since everyone left. Yeah some died, some just disappeared and I plan on finding them. The problem is I’m constantly being watched. You could say I have some problems but that’s just who I am. Deal with it. Everyone thinks I’m going blind and deaf and that’s why I’m constantly being watched. I absolutely hate it too. That’s why I have double personalities. I have short hair and one green eye and one blue eye. Most stay away from me which is fine with me because I don’t want anyone getting close to me. Every person that I e
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Patterns Cal's POV
Just like that we are in Sam’s room and Sam is lying there like she’s dead. I freak out and run straight to Sam. She’s tied to the table and I can’t find the remote. Then I notice the gun, I can only imagine what has to be done when I see the note.
After reading the note a million and one times I still can’t bring myself to do  it. Everyone is outside of Sam’s room and I’m standing here with a probably dead Sam and a stun gun. Then everything stops. Before I can react I see Sam standing next to herself. I nearly passed out just seeing my old friend again. She has this kind, knowing look on her face.
“Sam is it really you?”
“Yeah Cal, it’s really me this time.”
“Why? Why did you leave us?”
“I didn’t mean to and just so you know I’m not dead, I have no idea what I am. I could possibly be a figment in your head and you’re imagining all of this.”
“This is not an imag
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Patterns Cal's POV
I opened the door expecting it to be someone else but when I saw it was Sam I was so relieved. She didn’t look good at all though. She closed and locked the door and I guess that she was being chased. I call my mom and dad to come get Sam and put her on the table. By now she is just lying on the floor. At first I thought she was dead but when my dad went to pick her up she whimpered and I knew she would be okay.
Dad carried her and laid her down on the table while my mom got what she needed ready. And to think Sam had been gone for two weeks. I could have sworn she was dead but thankfully she wasn’t. The guilt had just been eating me alive. When I just ran and didn’t even think she might kill herself to keep me safe.
Mom is checking on Sam and notices that her mouth is still taped shut. I can only imagine what her dad did to her. I can see rope burns all over her body and her nerves are just completely shot. I’m guessing her dad was shocking her to her death. Mo
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Transformations 2 by surfworldMajor Transformations 2 :iconsurfworldmajor:surfworldMajor 0 0 Transformations Beginnings by surfworldMajor Transformations Beginnings :iconsurfworldmajor:surfworldMajor 0 0
Mature content
Asylum :iconsurfworldmajor:surfworldMajor 0 0
Patterns Cal's POV
I was looking for Sam when I thought I saw someone in the trees but I didn’t pay any attention to it. I kept going then I felt something hit the back of my neck and I fell. Next thing I know I’m tied to a tree and my mouth is taped shut. After about five minutes I see Sam and I hear her she is going to get herself killed trying to save me. I should have gone back in once I saw that person but I didn’t, this is my entire fault.
She came and someone shot at her but she dodged it easily she worked her way back to me and then I heard another shot and she went down but I felt her grab one of the daggers so I know she didn’t get hit. When the guy came up to her she jumped up so quickly it shocked even me. She turned and cut the rope and yelled run. I did exactly what she told me to do. I didn’t know that she wasn’t following. By the time that I got back I finally noticed that she wasn’t with me.
I immediately went to go back but I hear a car pulling
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Sam's POV (flashback)
I think back to the times that Dad had captured me. He did some really evil things. The one that I hated was when he wanted to analyze my brain and he used the exact same device that Cal was using before. That’s why I was completely freaking out when she tied me in it.
“Well looks like our machine is ready Sammy.”
“Don’t call me that. I hate that name.”
“Oh come now Sammy it’s not that bad.”
“Yeah it is bad because you call me it.”
“Well then I guess you aren’t going to take this kindly. Mark will you come and tie her in please?”
He unlocked the wrist guards that were holding me to a cage and then drug me to the table. He hefted me onto it and held on to me while Dad tied the restraints. I immediately start fighting to get Mark off of me but I couldn’t, I was only 10 then. The worst thing happened after I was trapped. Dad pulled out a knife and gave me a menacing look.
“We have to have a rea
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Patterns Sam's POV short
I hate being in dreams but I can’t look that much better on the outside after struggling for so long. I can only imagine what Cal was thinking when she was about to shoot me. Ok Sam focus you have to get that dream again so we can find when it will happen. I decide to focus on what I remembered the most, the landscape.
Cal’s POV
I really hope she can find the right dream even with her mind constantly working. Mom starts to put in the more painful needles in her arms otherwise if they were put in while she was still awake the restraints would be broken and she would probably be killing herself. Well now we wait because she will probably sleep for a while now that she is asleep.
One week later and Sam is still searching for the right dream and I’m really starting to get worried because I didn’t even shoot her with the dart that she said could have her asleep for a long time. Mom says that waking her up while she is deep in sleep right now could possibly kill her.
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Patterns Wolf Design by surfworldMajor Patterns Wolf Design :iconsurfworldmajor:surfworldMajor 0 0
Patterns Cal's POV 2
After I told my parents exactly what Sam was thinking my mom went in and talked with Sam probably saying that she supports her but Sam denies everything. As usual Sam stays in there probably drawing one of her patterns. They have taken over her entire life and sometimes I wonder what exactly makes her make patterns. Depending on her mood it might be numbers to straight lines to even random everything. I feel really bad sometimes because she can’t help it. I decide I need to talk with her and see if she could possibly reproduce that dream so my mom can analyze it.
“Knock knock. Coming in Sam.” I walk in and notice that the patterns have entirely covered the walls.
“Hey Cal come on in.”
“Wow may I say this is amazing. So every time we are in here this is what you do?”
“Yeah basically.”
“Wait never mind that. Not what I’m trying to talk to you about. I wanted to know if you can dream the same dream twice.”
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Patterns Sam's POV 2
“Cal you gotta trust me on this, just this once. Please?”
And she leaves, thank you now I can do what I was really going to do. Cal doesn’t know it but this explosive is not going to go off the first time I throw it. Poor Cal actually thought that I was going to kill myself. Well I’ve tried in the past so why not now I guess. NOT! She’s my family I can’t kill myself because I’m going to need her and Jade and her parents to get through this.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here? Someone make a toy bomb did we? Well let’s see if it works. Come on throw it at me I won’t do anything.”
“I will but first I wanted to let you know Dad. Your technology is great and all. And yeah you used me to get so high tech but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be high tech too. I just wanted to let you know I won’t be seeing you ever again.”
“We’ll see about that. Throw your toy now
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Patterns Cal's POV
I saw that Sam was at my window but I couldn’t get my window open for some reason. Then I knew, the door to my room flew open and it was my parents they were telling me to get into the bunker that we had under my room. We all bolted for the door. I got to the door and was pulling it open when I heard a gun shoot. They were aiming for me but missed and hit the door. I knew they would want me and not my parents so I ushered them in quickly and just before I could get in a needle jabbed me in the neck.
I woke up with a start then remembered everything. I had yelled to my parents to lock the door and never open it no matter what. They know I can handle myself but I remember the scared look on their faces. I have to get back to them and fast. I open my eyes weakly and notice that I’m not alone nor am I standing either. I open my eyes the rest of the way and see someone standing to my side and another person in the same device as me. Now I’m worried I think they got Sam too
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Back in a (Kid) Flash by FabulousBendingBros Back in a (Kid) Flash :iconfabulousbendingbros:FabulousBendingBros 84 5 Tiger with Star by Ridingthelight Tiger with Star :iconridingthelight:Ridingthelight 4 0 Toph, Azula by TophWei Toph, Azula :icontophwei:TophWei 156 12 Toph, Katara - Go away! by TophWei Toph, Katara - Go away! :icontophwei:TophWei 540 68 Did you call for a Doctor, Dear? by SoloGrayson Did you call for a Doctor, Dear? :iconsolograyson:SoloGrayson 1,724 130 [Click me!] Cat Fight by SoloGrayson [Click me!] Cat Fight :iconsolograyson:SoloGrayson 371 22 Young Justice Poster by BrianAtkins Young Justice Poster :iconbrianatkins:BrianAtkins 804 44 Young Justice: Big Brother by dou-hong Young Justice: Big Brother :icondou-hong:dou-hong 2,477 110 Young Justice - Impulse by Fishiebug Young Justice - Impulse :iconfishiebug:Fishiebug 862 42 Toon Young Justice by rosey-so-silly Toon Young Justice :iconrosey-so-silly:rosey-so-silly 2,575 137 Justice? by dou-hong Justice? :icondou-hong:dou-hong 3,575 491 Young Justice Tower by Lo-wah Young Justice Tower :iconlo-wah:Lo-wah 7,638 555 YOUNG JUSTICE: Robin by philbourassa YOUNG JUSTICE: Robin :iconphilbourassa:philbourassa 5,914 399 YOUNG JUSTICE: Tim Drake by philbourassa YOUNG JUSTICE: Tim Drake :iconphilbourassa:philbourassa 5,178 442 YOUNG JUSTICE: BATGIRL by philbourassa YOUNG JUSTICE: BATGIRL :iconphilbourassa:philbourassa 4,367 289 YOUNG JUSTICE: IMPULSE by philbourassa YOUNG JUSTICE: IMPULSE :iconphilbourassa:philbourassa 2,121 188


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Hey, I'm moving my account. I don't really do anything on here so any thing that I might ever post will be on here from now on. It is a joint account so I will always sign out Leo. I have a fanfiction up and in the journal on ArcherBatGhost there is a link to our joint account on also.


surfworldMajor's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
I'm just getting back in drawing and writing. I never really got to completely grow up, I mean I still am it's just my family moved too often. I was born in New Mexico moved to Germany then moved once more to stay until I can leave the lonely state of Wisconsin and travel the world.


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threalsitygirl Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you again for the faves!
threalsitygirl Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the faves! :)
surfworldMajor Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

No problem


Blood-Red-Dragon Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013
Good'ay mate thank you for the favorites!
surfworldMajor Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

No problem. The combination of literature with a picture makes it even better.


Blood-Red-Dragon Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013
I agree it kinda gives a image to go along with the feeling of the poem :)
Xander-White-Wolf Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
thanks for the fav on 'suicide is not the answer' much appreciated
surfworldMajor Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem. It speaks volumes if you know what the other side feels like.
Xander-White-Wolf Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
yes, i do know exactly what it feels like. i havent heard from her so im worried........
surfworldMajor Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I hope you can. I'm afraid no one really wants to worry about me. They're lucky to have you there.  
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